When I was younger, I could open a 70-page wide-ruled notebook and write a novel. Nowadays, it feels like there’s a barrier between my mind and the page.
This domain has been sitting here for months, abandoned. Now, I’m back, ready to get things going, but I must’ve written over 500 words by now, and yet the page still lies blank. My thoughts are boisterous and relentless. They refuse to be tamed to paper so easily.
It used to be after struggling for a few minutes, I’d give up. It wasn’t anything conscious. My mind, in an attempt to relieve the negativity being built by the failure occurring at that moment, would gently shift focus, unbeknownst to me. Then days, weeks, and even months would pass, and I’d have created nothing. That slight shift in focus led to lost time, no productivity, nothing created, and nothing to show. This is probably the root of my sadness.
I am not as ignorant as I once was. I notice that struggle now. I am aware of the battle that begins at the first sign of failure. Despite that, I still find myself losing time to time. I’m aware a fight is about to break out, but no one ever taught me how to throw a punch. And yet, I’ve found that persistently and constantly doing something, even if that’s taking a beating, is key. Sorry, this doesn’t make much sense, but if I can continue this analogy a bit further, I think I’ve learned to dodge a few blows.
Novelty Key 